Today, I was reminded that I do not owe anything to anyone, except myself. Well, of course we ought to be respectful to others etc. but this is not what I am getting at.
In the past few years, I have realized how much of myself I was giving away, to please, to care, to help out.
There was nothing wrong with being at the service of others, but I forgot to take care of someone: myself.
From relationships I didn’t want to be in. Things I didn’t want to do. People I didn’t want to meet. Discussions I didn’t want to have. Bullshit I couldn’t take anymore.
I always thought I owed people an explanation, a reason.
A reason to leave.
A reason to stay.
An explanation for saying no.
An explanation for not meeting people’s expectations of me.
Well I didn’t.
I learned to say no. I learned to delay, to dismiss, to ignore.
In saying no, I learned to be selfish. Selfish with my time. Selfish with my vulnerability. Selfish with my energy.
My No’s became acts of self-care, acts of self-assertion. Through the process, I have also learned to value and respect people’s spaces and boundaries.
You do not owe anything to anyone, except yourself.