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Self care

February 10, 2021

By Deborah K

2020 came and went, and I don’t know about you but it was for sure a trying year for me. I don’t want to say that it was bad, because it would be a lie. Beautiful things happened to me in 2020, but nonetheless, the struggle was real and still is in many aspects.

We were all eagerly waiting for 2021 to get here because we all hoped that 2020 would leave and take away Covid-19 and so many of the hard things that happened, so that we could only focus on rebuilding ourselves… A month into 2021 and I don’t think I’m reaching much if I say that we are still hopeful but uncertainty is also very present.

We all have different ways of coping and this past year was for me the opportunity to tap more deeply into my spirituality. I am not really one to go to church, but I did find myself praying for the strength to keep moving forward, quite often these past few months.

When the world suddenly came to a standstill there’s so much we had to confront. The sudden loss of liberty and probably the most important for me, the realization that now is really the only moment that we have. I have always tried to live my life with that thought in mind but nothing like a pandemic to set you straight again.

The other thing I had to contend with, was the idea of loneliness. That one did a number on a lot of us really. Since March 2020, I have been able to spend some time with other fellow humans but solitude and loneliness have been the main theme of 2020 for me and if things don’t change it feels like 2021 is heading the same way.

My mental health took a pretty big hit and I have been struggling with moments where I felt okay and moments of utter despair. I will never approve of it, but I got a better understanding of why people do stupid things sometimes when faced with the unknown. By definition, we don’t know what tomorrow has in store for us, but the current situation adds another layer of uncertainty.

At the beginning of 2020, right before things went ablaze, for the first time ever I made a vision board and made it a priority to work on my inner self. I didn’t know how necessary this would become for me, only a few weeks later. I started reading a lot of self-improvement and self-care books, watched a lot of YouTube videos, listened to quite a few podcasts, joined online challenges… To cut a long story short, I went on a bit of a binging session trying to find THE solution to the anxiety-ridden and emotional mess I was and still am to a degree.

Fast forward a year later, I’m still a work in progress but the one thing that impacted me, is that you just have to believe. Be it, in yourself or in a higher power or energy that will help you push forward. No matter what you use to name what you believe in. We’re made of star-stuff or made from God so ultimately believing in you or in them, amounts to the same.

The other important lesson I got is that we need to be gentle with ourselves. As it was so often repeated at the beginning of all this, we live in unprecedented times. It’s normal to feel at a loss, anxious, angry or defeated at times. But like with anything in life, it shall pass eventually.

In the words of wise Master Oogway: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present”. So if you can, take 5 minutes to enjoy the moment and commit to focusing on the now and move one step at a time, because that is the only way to go after all.

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  • Deborah K

    Deborah K


    Born and raised in France with Congolese origins, I am a passionate photographer and traveler currently based in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Images credits:

Featured Image - Ariana Anderson, Styled by Ariana - Chicago Stylist | Dominique Ashanti - The Lovely Model + Extraordinary Painter | Michelle from Mink Loves Makeup - Chicago Makeup Artist

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