{"id":104481,"date":"2016-04-09T18:08:41","date_gmt":"2016-04-09T18:08:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/?p=841"},"modified":"2025-05-14T10:32:30","modified_gmt":"2025-05-14T14:32:30","slug":"she-saying-no-as-an-act-of-self-care-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/en\/she-saying-no-as-an-act-of-self-care-2\/","title":{"rendered":"She | Saying no as an act of self-care"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_105521\" style=\"width: 632px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-105521\" class=\"size-full wp-image-105521\" src=\"https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/naaaaaaah-1.jpg\" alt=\"Young black woman saying no\" width=\"622\" height=\"622\" srcset=\"https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/naaaaaaah-1-66x66.jpg 66w, https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/naaaaaaah-1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/naaaaaaah-1-200x200.jpg 200w, https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/naaaaaaah-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/naaaaaaah-1-400x400.jpg 400w, https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/naaaaaaah-1-600x600.jpg 600w, https:\/\/sayaspora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/naaaaaaah-1.jpg 622w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 622px) 100vw, 622px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-105521\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Nah.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Today, I was reminded that I do not owe anything to anyone, except myself. Well, of course we ought to be respectful to others etc. but this is not what I am getting at.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">In the past few years, I have realized how much of myself I was giving away, to please, to care, to help out.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">There was nothing wrong with being at the service of others, but I forgot to take care of someone: myself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">From relationships I didn&#8217;t want to be in. Things I didn&#8217;t want to do. People I didn&#8217;t want to meet. Discussions I didn&#8217;t want to have. Bullshit I couldn&#8217;t take anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I always thought I owed people an explanation, a reason.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">A reason to leave.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">A reason to stay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">An explanation for saying no.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">An explanation for not meeting people&#8217;s expectations of me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Well I didn&#8217;t.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I learned to say no. I learned to delay, to dismiss, to ignore.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">In saying no, I learned to be selfish. Selfish with my time. Selfish with my vulnerability. Selfish with my energy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">My No&#8217;s became acts of self-care, acts of self-assertion. Through the process, I have also learned to value and respect people&#8217;s spaces and boundaries.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">You do not owe anything to anyone, except yourself. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; &nbsp; Today, I was reminded that I do not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":105523,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_members_access_role":[],"_members_access_error":""},"categories":[275],"tags":[],"couleur":[],"etiquette-darchives":[278],"type-de-ressource":[],"class_list":["post-104481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-magazine-archives","etiquette-darchives-fierce-archives"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>She | Saying no as an act of self-care - 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